When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
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