GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
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