What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
