Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
