just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Randomize
