The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Randomize
