I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
