He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i will never coherently bang her
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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