i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
