I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Randomize