You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Randomize
