i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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