"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
