whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
pop tarts are not kleenex
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
