one might say we're banned from that church
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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