I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
