epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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