sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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