I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
