Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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