K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
