OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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