All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Considering that my ex-wife dumped me to become a lesbian, the Universe owes me a threesome.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize