I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Randomize
