So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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