How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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