So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
there is glitter all over my balls
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
