you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Little spoons don't ask big questions
they call him Oral-B. enough said
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize