who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
