I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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