omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
