You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
