i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
