Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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