PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
