I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
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