I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
