Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
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