so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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