Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Randomize
