awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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