Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
