the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
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