Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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