Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
