I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize
