So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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