I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
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