What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
We left the knife in your bed.
We don't watch enough power rangers
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
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