this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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