Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Randomize
