i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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