Im at strip club and am horny
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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