can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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