i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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