like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
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