Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
