after a month anything with tits is on the radar
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
