billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
